Confession Time

I have a confession to make:  I'm scared.

Yep.  Scared.  I said it.

I'm scared that my WIP isn't good enough.  I'm scared that no book I write will ever be good enough. (For me, that is. I am my own toughest critic.)  I'm scared that even if it is, I'll screw it up somehow.  I'm scared that I won't ever reach my dreams.  I'm scared that I'll get discouraged.  Scared I'll give up.  And scared that if I do, Super Spawn will never reach for his dreams.

But you know what else?  I'm not going to let fear stop me or define me.

I've been struggling with my WIP because of the fear, but I also realized something yesterday.  Maybe it's okay to be scared, as long as you don't let it take over, don't let it dampen your love for the craft.  The fear is only as strong as I allow it to be.  All it takes to put it back in its little box is me deciding to shove it away and not allowing it to sink its claws in.

Easier said than done, I know.  I just feel like I need to be honest with you guys.  I always try to put on a positive face and think positive thoughts and SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS FOR EVERYONE!!!

But the truth is, we all struggle with fear, and so I wanted to let any of you out there feeling the same way know I'm right there with you.  I know talking to my writer friends and hearing them express the same feelings always puts things in perspective. 

This whole blogging thing is about sharing a journey I'm on, and I feel sure plenty of you experience the same things, the same fears I do.  Blogs are a great source of inspiration for me, and when I get stuck in a rut, you all are the first ones I turn to for those inspiring words you post every day.  That's all I want to be for you all, and I hope you know that.

Do any of you deal with this kind of fear?  What do you do when it tries to get the best of you?

Road Trip Wednesday - A Winding Road

This week's topic over at the YAHighway is:



 What has your writing road trip looked like so far? Excitement? Traffic Jams and detours? Where are you going next?

Well I'd say my road trip has been fairly twisty, with lots of hills and valleys, but a very fun ride.




I started writing my first novel (well, not the first, first, but the first one I took seriously) in August of 2009.  The next year was full of excitement and learning.  This was the first novel I ever *finished* writing, and I even started dipping my toes into the blogging world in early 2010.

Along with meeting some fantastic writer friends, I learned about the industry, and even got to meet a real live agent at a conference.  In October 2010 I wrote yet another book (much faster and cleaner than the first) and polished it until it shined.

Then I took a dive into the querying world, which I know I haven't said much at all about.  I started querying Happily Never After on February 28th, and with success!  But that's where my first real traffic jam hit.  I got a lot of requests, and had some dream-worthy agents reading my material, but none of them loved it enough.  Which is fine, and I totally respect that.

But that's where my journey detoured from what I expected.  The detour I wound up on though?  Not so bad!  I've written another book that I love, I've learned even more about my craft and the industry.

And just around the corner?  Who knows.  Could be another hill to climb, could be another detour, but whatever it is I'll just keep trucking on.  I mean, what's more fun than road tripping with the music blaring and great friends beside you?

Fun With Betas

I have awesome writer friends -- a bunch of them, in fact.  One conversation I had with Erinn this past weekend really highlighted all the attributes of my splendiferous group.  Read on, and prepare to giggle with us... (Or at us, you know, whatever.)

We were talking about an awesome MS we've both beta'd and this happened...

Me: I told her to get to work on book 2 lol

Erinn:  ME TOO!

Me: hahaha I wanna know what happens!

Are the {Characters} good or bad?!  I can't decide!

Erinn:  I KNOW!!!

It's awesome.

Me: It is.

Very awesome.

I kinda want to email her and make her tell me...because I'm impatient like that.

Erinn:  Do it, she'll love it.

Me:  Actually, I kinda want to blog about this exchange... lol

Erinn:  Do that too.

Me:  A "This is how you know you've got awesome writer friends" post

Me:  1 - You get texts throughout the day ranging from freaked out to excited because of Agent's tweets.

2 - You have awesome debates over IM about the awesome MS you both beta'd.

3 - Then you talk about what an awesome blog post it'll make. lmao

Erinn:  NICE

Me:  4 - You realize how many times you just used the word awesome.

Erinn:  5- You're sort of ashamed your vocab sucks so bad, because you know you're supposed to be a writer.

6- You say fuck it because anyone who uses big words sucks anyway and the word awesome is awesome.

Me:  HAHAHAHAHA

Yep, totally blogging this.

Erinn:  Nice

Me:  Do you wish to be named in the post or no?

Erinn:  YES NAME ME

 

Why yes, yes we do.

 

There you have it.  A typical conversation with one of my AWESOME writer friends.  I <3 my writer buddies.  They're all super awesome.

Having someone to share all of these moments with, all the ups and downs and nerves and triumphs and upsets is, well...  Awesome.