The Right Headspace

Let's just start this post off by agreeing that writing is hard. Not just is it hard, but it's hard on our mental health. (Hello, three year break!) There are so many different aspects of this work, and each of them can be draining in their own way.

In drafting, I struggle with perfectionism. I want to put my best work down to begin with, but this often stops the flow of my words.  It acts as my block, and it's exhausting to break through it. It's not something I can flip a switch and turn off either. (But thanks for that suggestion, Hubby! At least you tried to help!) I need to be in the right headspace -- or frame of mind -- in order to step beyond that paralyzing need to be perfect. This particular challenge has gotten greater as my writing knowledge has improved. The story that I've been outlining and drafting while I was on my break has been the one I've struggled with most of all in this respect.

YOU SAID WHAT?!

In revising, well...it's easy to take comments too personally. (RE: the whole perfectionism thing) This is where I have to be REALLY careful with how and when I read comments from my CP's. I don't want to get my back up and be all...

SHE HATES ME!

I also don't want to read the comments when I'm feeling too vulnerable or sensitive, because then can I wind up all...

I've got this!

Sometimes that means waiting a few hours, and sometimes that means waiting a day or so to be able to dive into the comments and take them with a positive mindset...

Waiting is not my favorite thing to do. I'm an action taker -- I don't sit idly by for anything, I go after what I want -- so it's hard for me to wait. But I'm learning to balance that feeling by diverting my focus. 

I've made it a goal of this year, and this month specifically, to work on my craft every day, but specified that "working on my craft" includes reading, writing, critiquing, revising, blogging, social media, etc. So I don't feel hedged in and limited. I've allowed myself that freedom to escape my own mind's games. That way if I'm not in the right headspace for a critique, I've got a whole list of other things to work on to better my craft without feeling guilty or putting myself through the emotional wringer.

I'm hoping that I've come back to this world with enough clarity from my break to keep the positivity flowing. And I hope that maybe my experience will help another writer who has struggled with the same things to not feel alone out there. Sometimes it's nice to have someone who understands to just say, me too.

Do you guys have any tricks for keeping yourself positive during this process? I'd love to hear them!

Parenting the MG Reader

Being both a mom and a writer adds a lot of complexities to the task of developing my children as readers. It has been heavy on my mind the past couple of months as I've watched one child blossom and the other struggle in my own home over their school reading requirements.

I don't know about the rest of the world, but in our school district the kids are on the Accelerated Reader program (AR for short). Which means they read a book and then take a comprehension test on it, which earns them "points" toward their goals for the term.

Within this system the kids are also given reading levels and goals to reach in that regard as well. For Super Spawn, who is now 9 and in 4th grade, he's reading at a 7th grade level as of the beginning of winter break. Curly Girl is 7 and in 2nd grade, and she's reading at a 3rd grade level. Which is great!

Until I take them to the book store.

Super Spawn is big into middle grade fiction, which is wonderful. I've been sharing some of my all-time favorites with him this year. HARRY POTTER, PERCY JACKSON, MAGYK, and more! The issue arises when we're standing in front of a shelf of hundreds of books and I have to pull out my phone and plug the titles into the AR search to see if 1. there's a test for this book, and 2. if it's in his pre-set range. Let the frustration begin.

New releases? Not in the AR system. Could take months for it to show up there.


What does he want to read? The newest LAST KIDS ON EARTH book, of course.


But guess what, even though it's now in the AR system, it's no longer in his range. He's moved above it level-wise. Except he loves this series, and he wants to read it no matter what. 

 And I'm supposed to tell him what? Sure, I'll get it for you and you can read it, but it can't count toward your school goals? 

Sorry, but that's a load of crap. It's almost like a punishment for reading something he loves just because it's below his level. I hate that for him. However, I still bought him the book.

With Super Spawn I also have the added challenge of appropriateness. Yes, he reads well above his grade level, and only continues to improve. We're reaching the point where books like DIVERGENT are falling into his reading range. Now, I LOVE that series. I own all the books and movies. But just because it falls within his capacity to comprehend it, doesn't mean he's at the right maturity level for it. *Cue freakout because he wants to read it, and he knows I've read it, and it's staring at him on our bookshelf begging him to read it*

Our kids are being pushed to challenge themselves to read more complex stories, which is fantastic. Until you hit that wall where they've leveled up beyond their maturity and their teachers are still pushing them farther.

In the case of Curly Girl she's being pushed really hard to read higher level books, which causes her to take less tests, to struggle with her goals, and to not want to read her AR books at all. They're pushing her too fast. Let her just be a 2nd grader for a minute! She will grow at her own pace! The transition from early readers to novels is a hard one for kids. Super Spawn struggled with it too. It just takes time.

All of this to say that I'm not sure putting all of these restrictions and guidelines on our children's reading is as beneficial as we (as parents) are told it is. Isn't there a better way? Wouldn't more freedom to choose help to grow their passion for reading far more than shoving a certain level of book down their throat?

As I writer I worry the implications this has on the novels we put out. What if, because of my sentence structure, my book is labeled as a 6th grade reading level, but the content is appropriate for a high school level of maturity? Is that going to automatically put my book in that "you can read it but it won't count" crowd? I'm not sure I like that one bit.

Do any of you have thoughts on this or similar experiences to share? I'd love to hear them.

Goals for 2017

Seeing as tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and I'm just getting back active on the blog, it seems like the perfect time to talk about goals.

Something I've learned in my time off from writing is that you should never set goals that you don't have complete control over. I'm a big fan of setting goals. Always have been. However, I've been known to set a few that at least had elements that were beyond my control. That's a dangerous game to play, and if you're as goal driven as I am, it can cause a big spiral down a long path that's dark and full of brambles. That's not the kind of place I want to be.

So, this year my focus will be on goals entirely within my control.

Holly's 2017 Writing Goals:

1. Finish revisions on my current project.
2. Find a title for said current project that I actually like.
3. Once it is as perfect as I can make it, query the revised project.
4. Finish a draft of the new project I've been outlining/drafting.
5. Outline that other new project I've been stewing on.
6. Start another draft or round of revisions or both!
7. Remember to enjoy myself.
8. Settle into a blogging routine.
9. Stay active on Twitter.
10. Reconnect with old friends and make some new ones.


What about you guys? Do you have a list of writing goals for the new year? I'd love to hear about them!

Road Trip Wednesday - Kick Me Into Shape!

This week on the YAHighway, the topic is:

What kind of writing coach do you need? What kind are you?(This is in relation to Sarah's post on Mentors)

As for me, I think I fit right into the gentle honesty category (and I happen to think Tim Gun is pretty fabulous).  When I critique I'm very honest.  I'm not going to let anything slide, but I'm also going to make my comments and suggestions in the nicest possible way.  I use lots of smiley faces when I crit, just ask my buddies.  ;)  They say it softens the blow, and I have to agree.

As for what kind of coach I need, I think it depends on the day.  Some days I need that gentle honesty -- some days I just need someone to say, "Hmm, I really like the idea of super space raccoons invading the supermarket, but I don't think I quite understand where they came from.  I thought we were in contemporary Kansas?"  lol

Other times, I need some Brutal Honesty.  And I'll ask for it when I'm ready.  I want to know point blank what is weak, and don't worry about my feelings, I can handle it.

Probably most people will agree that having more than one type of coach/feedback on your writing is necessary and preferred even.  Not only does it help improve your writing on multiple levels, but it also thickens your skin and readies you for what's to come down the road.

What kind of coach do you prefer?

It's NaNo Time!

 

Today is the official kickoff of NaNoWriMo!  Woohoo!  I have no idea how you add writing buddies on the NaNo website, but if you do feel free to add me (or clue me in lol) I'm hddodson.

I was thinking that even though I haven't done NaNo before, I have written a couple of novels in a month, so maybe I could share a few tips with you guys.  Things I've learned the hard way so you don't have to.  ;)

1.  First of all, when you're writing a novel at such a fast pace, you've got to trust yourself.  This may be the hardest part for me, but I feel like it's also the most important one.  I don't know about you guys, but when I get about 1/3 of the way into any story I start getting clammy.  My fingers freeze up and my mind grinds to a halt because OMG this SUCKS.  This will never be a good story, why am I even bothering?  THAT, my friends, is where you've got to put the breaks on.  Everyone has their own way of working through this feeling, but all in all it's about trusting yourself as a storyteller to work out the problems.  Trust that you can fix anything that's wrong with it later and press on.

2.  Know where you're going.  Writing fast is all about passion for me.  You've got this story in you and it NEEDS to come out rightthissecond or you may explode from the force of it!  Again, this is from my perspective, but if I don't have a clear goal for where the story is going, I'll meander my way right out of it.  It can be as simple as a log line or as detailed as a stack of worksheets.  Whatever works for you, but know your path.  For Happily Never After, I started with a log line -- a girl gets trapped in a fairy tale, and has to escape before she loses her memories -- that's it.  For Tate's Hell I used an outline (Boy was that a lot easier too!).  Whatever works.  I'll be using an outline again this time.

3.  Don't find time, make time.  This is true all the time for any kind of writing I think, but especially for NaNo.  You can't just hope you'll find the time to write 2k words a day, because it won't happen.  You've got to search it out, squeeze it in wherever it will fit, even if it's only in ten minute increments.

And because I know you're all just dying for more pics of Super Spawn...here he is as Captain Jack Sparrow last night.  ;)

WIP Reveal

I know I've been kinda secretive about my WIP, and...well...I'm not sure why.  Maybe because I love it so much.  :)  One of those times where you're scared to show someone a photo of your baby because OMG what if they think it's ugly?!  (Plus, secrets are kinda fun.)

But, I'm bucking up.  Mostly because it's getting too hard to be secretive with another project in the works that I'm bursting with excitement about.  Ha.

Therefore, I'd like you to meet TATE'S HELL, my YA thriller.

What's it about?  Well...

A legendary waterfall in the swamps of Florida isn't supposed to exist, but Delia Ray and her friends find it.  People aren't supposed to become possessed, but Delia watches in horror as her friends lose control of their own minds and bodies.  Riddles that mean the difference between life and death aren't meant to be solved, but that's the challenge Delia faces if she wants to escape. 

This isn't a query or anything, just a little blurb I came up with that I think is a fun way to describe the story.  What do you think?

Source: None via Holly on Pinterest

I lovelovelove this story, and I'm excited to share it with you.  Remember that post about the Legendary Forest?  Yeah.  This is my own personal twisty tale woven around that legend.  :)  Maybe one day I'll get to share it with you.

Building a World

So, something that has happened in my new project is leading me down a path of a whole bunch of world building.  Now, I've written my share of fantasy, but usually my stories have a firm basis in the real world even if there are crazy fantastical things happening to them.

With this new story, which I'm calling OLEA (Oh-lee), the world building is going a little further.  It's set in a sort-of alternative future, where an event in our history going very differently changed the shape of the world they live in.  (And not in a little way, like in HUGE ways.)

Since I was home with a sick kiddo yesterday, and got zero time to write, I pulled out my box of drawing supplies and decided to try my hand at creating the images in my head on paper.

Well, I kinda suck at drawing.  I mean, I took some classes back in the day, but...yeah.  An artist I am not.  (No matter how much I'd like to be. lol)  Proof:

The dress is *supposed* to look like a flower -- the top being the stem.  See?  Yeah, not very good, but now I have at least got a good visual for writing.  :)  I've also started drawing out the layout of their city, and as plants play a really big roll in this story, I've started sketching some of those too.

Now, I think you all know by now I'm a big fan of pinterest and photo inspiration, but this is the first time I've set out to create my own images of what my world is like.  Have any of you done this before?  Do you find it helpful?  I'd love to hear what you think.

By the way, this is the NaNo project, not the WIP I keep mentioning.  :)  In case you're curious.

A Successful Weekend

So...I finished another round of revisions Saturday on my WIP.  What did I learn?  That with five hours of uninterrupted time a day I could rule the world.  For real.

It was lovely, Super Spawn went to the movies with grandpa and the house was so deliciously quiet.  I sat at the dining room table and worked and worked and worked.  It was the most focused I've been in a long time, and it was so nice.

In fact, as backward as it seems, it's exactly what I needed to recharge my writing batteries. 

Now I'm kinda in this weird limbo place where the WIP is waiting for more feedback and I really, really want to write something.  But I was going to do NaNo so I should wait.  But I really, really want to write.  ;)

So maybe I'll just write and not count the words toward my NaNo goal.  lol  I mean, if the muse is there, why tell her to hold on, right?  Write!

I'd love to hear how all of your projects are coming.  Who all is doing NaNo this year?  I personally feel a little insane for attempting it since I just did this a month ago, but hey, whatever.  Nobody ever accused me of being normal.  ;)

A Little Inspiration

I'm not quite sure why this week has seemed particularly dreary (maybe it's the gray skies that won't let go around here), but I'm feeling the need for a pick-me-up.  So I give you, quotes of inspiration thanks to Pinterest.  I hope you find them as uplifting and encouraging as I do.

Source: tealcheesecake.tumblr.com via Jen on Pinterest

Road Trip Wednesday -- Why do You do it?

This week's topic over at the YAHighway is:

What's your numero-uno reason for writing?

Honestly?  I write because I have to.  

I'm sitting here trying to pinpoint just when in my life I haven't been writing *something* (even if not a novel), and I guess the only time I wasn't was...when I couldn't write.

I've always had these words swirling around in my head.  Before I wrote novels, I wrote a lot of really bad poetry, and I journaled like it was nobody's business.  Nothing felt better than ending the day by spilling all of my thoughts and emotions out on the page, and I guess that's just it.

I write because I need to, because I want to, and because I love it. 

If I didn't write, I'd be missing a piece of my heart...

Confession Time

I have a confession to make:  I'm scared.

Yep.  Scared.  I said it.

I'm scared that my WIP isn't good enough.  I'm scared that no book I write will ever be good enough. (For me, that is. I am my own toughest critic.)  I'm scared that even if it is, I'll screw it up somehow.  I'm scared that I won't ever reach my dreams.  I'm scared that I'll get discouraged.  Scared I'll give up.  And scared that if I do, Super Spawn will never reach for his dreams.

But you know what else?  I'm not going to let fear stop me or define me.

I've been struggling with my WIP because of the fear, but I also realized something yesterday.  Maybe it's okay to be scared, as long as you don't let it take over, don't let it dampen your love for the craft.  The fear is only as strong as I allow it to be.  All it takes to put it back in its little box is me deciding to shove it away and not allowing it to sink its claws in.

Easier said than done, I know.  I just feel like I need to be honest with you guys.  I always try to put on a positive face and think positive thoughts and SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS FOR EVERYONE!!!

But the truth is, we all struggle with fear, and so I wanted to let any of you out there feeling the same way know I'm right there with you.  I know talking to my writer friends and hearing them express the same feelings always puts things in perspective. 

This whole blogging thing is about sharing a journey I'm on, and I feel sure plenty of you experience the same things, the same fears I do.  Blogs are a great source of inspiration for me, and when I get stuck in a rut, you all are the first ones I turn to for those inspiring words you post every day.  That's all I want to be for you all, and I hope you know that.

Do any of you deal with this kind of fear?  What do you do when it tries to get the best of you?

Character Development

So, number one on my revision list for my WIP is character development.  Not necessarily for the main character either, though she'll get her share of attention.

Right now, I'm focusing on my supporting characters and how to bring their personalities to life without bogging the story down.

That's a tall order to fill, and probably one of the most important.

What did I do?  Well, I made a spreadsheet of course.  ;)

I'm not sure if you can see that very well, but it's a quick-reference sheet of sorts. I have physical traits, age, interests, and the GMC (Goal, Motivation, Conflict) for each character listed for easy reference. So when I'm revising, I have my bullet list of what I'm looking to add/change, and my one-page spreadsheet on characters. That way if I hit a spot and go, hmm, would Blair really say this here? I can glance at the list and know my Yale-bound mathlete probably would not.

And it's funny how the smallest changes can have such a large impact on the sound and overall presentation of a character.  It's not even necessarily about what they say so much as how they say it sometimes.  :)

What do you do to help define characters?  Any tips you'd like to share with me? 

Road Trip Wednesday - A Winding Road

This week's topic over at the YAHighway is:



 What has your writing road trip looked like so far? Excitement? Traffic Jams and detours? Where are you going next?

Well I'd say my road trip has been fairly twisty, with lots of hills and valleys, but a very fun ride.




I started writing my first novel (well, not the first, first, but the first one I took seriously) in August of 2009.  The next year was full of excitement and learning.  This was the first novel I ever *finished* writing, and I even started dipping my toes into the blogging world in early 2010.

Along with meeting some fantastic writer friends, I learned about the industry, and even got to meet a real live agent at a conference.  In October 2010 I wrote yet another book (much faster and cleaner than the first) and polished it until it shined.

Then I took a dive into the querying world, which I know I haven't said much at all about.  I started querying Happily Never After on February 28th, and with success!  But that's where my first real traffic jam hit.  I got a lot of requests, and had some dream-worthy agents reading my material, but none of them loved it enough.  Which is fine, and I totally respect that.

But that's where my journey detoured from what I expected.  The detour I wound up on though?  Not so bad!  I've written another book that I love, I've learned even more about my craft and the industry.

And just around the corner?  Who knows.  Could be another hill to climb, could be another detour, but whatever it is I'll just keep trucking on.  I mean, what's more fun than road tripping with the music blaring and great friends beside you?

The Teen Brain

My post on The Teen Brain is over on Paper Hangover today!  Go check it out!

On another note, I did a blog update this morning and redirected everything to my domain name -- if you find something isn't working, please let me know!

The Beta Returns

Just for fun, I thought I'd share with you the range of emotion I experienced last night as I checked my email to find my crit notes from my Super Awesome Beta.

Now, I opened my email unsuspecting, thinking maybe there'd be some spam, but that's about it.  Then my eyes sorta bugged out:

 

Holy spamoley that was fast!  And suddenly my brain morphs into OMGSHEHATEDIT mode, and I looked more like this:

 

Once I got my wits about me enough to open the email, things started to look up. AKA the time where my brain goes ohthankGODshemightstilltalktome.  (My brain is very dramatic, but you all know this by now. lol)   So that looked more like this:

 

Then I got really brave and opened the file to see the in-line comments.  That's when I got a little...um...this...

Lots of work still to do, my friends, but I know I'm headed in the right direction now!  EEEEE!!

Tell me, do you go through the same sorts of thoughts and emotions when you get feedback? 

Newton's Third Law of...Writing?

My brain goes in some of the weirdest directions sometimes.  I've been thinking this week about all the lovely and shiny ideas I've had for stories over the last year, and how many of them tanked within the first 1,000 words on the page.

I've come to a conclusion:  For every good idea, there is an equal and opposite bad idea.

Looks familiar, doesn't it?  It should.  It's Newton's Third Law of Motion, which I've thoroughly corrupted for my own purposes.

I'm a nerd, I know.  I embrace that side of myself fully.

But it's true, not every idea can be a good one.  Not every idea can have a stellar concept, a breathtaking plot, and three-dimensional characters.  Can you imagine if they did?  I'd never leave my computer again!

Letting ideas or characters or whatever shiny bit of story it was that sprung to mind go can be sad-making.  I've still got one idea from a while back I'm clinging desperately to, hoping I'll be able to find a plot to fit it at some point.  But at some point you have to allow yourself to step back and say, "This idea isn't as great as I first thought, and that's okay.  It's time to move on."

Because some ideas turn out to be a brassy copper instead of that shiny gold color we were looking for.  Newton said that's how it had to be.  Blame him.  ;)

Open Forum

Today I thought we'd have a little fun.  My brain is groggy thanks to allergies and cooler weather, so let's do a Q&A session!  You ask, I'll answer.  Whatever you want to know -- it can be about writing, about my processes, general stuff, whatever suits your fancy.

I'll answer in the comments, or if it's a long answer question, I'll make a blog post out of it.

 So, let's hear it, what questions are running through your mind this morning?


Disclaimer:  If you ask me things like, "What's Super Spawn's real name," I won't answer.  :)  Not that I don't want to but, you know, privacy issues and all. 

Dueling Projects

Over the weekend, after finishing a round of revisions, I sent my WIP off for its very first beta read.   *cue scary music*  Just kidding.  Nothing scary about a good critique.  ;)

I have, however, been struck by the Shiny New Idea fairy.  Fun times.  This is where the inspiration struck (thanks to Pinterest, my new favorite source)

Isn't she lovely?

Anyway, I've always been a one story at a time kind of girl.  Finish a project, then pick up another.  But this girl, this story, is refusing to wait.

So here's my question:  Is it wise to revise one story and write another at the same time?  Granted, it wouldn't be at the same very time, I'd write while WIP is out with betas and revise when it returned.  Do any of you work on multiple projects at once?

It seems wise to go ahead and learn now, because one day if I'm under deadline the reality is that I'll probably have a couple projects going at once.  Right?  I mean, that is the end goal.

What do you guys think?  Too risky, or a smart move?

Pulling on the Reigns

So, as you guys know, Super Spawn is taking Suzuki Violin lessons.  We've been at it for a little over a month now, and the other day I sat marveling at yet another lesson my sweet four-year-old has taught me.

You see, the basis behind the Suzuki method of teaching violin is parent involvement.  I'm in all his lessons with him, and we practice together every single night.  Now, I had my share of music lessons growing up (though not as young as he is) so I was prepared for the daily repetition of skills, the stand this way, fingers curved, keep that wrist straight diatribe.

What I didn't expect was a lesson in perspective.

Super Spawn is four.  The violin is a hard instrument to learn.  There are tons of little technical movements kids have to master before they ever put the bow to the string to make any kind of noise.  And when your mom is a Supremo Perfectionist?  Well, the fun gets sapped out of that practice faster than you can say quit.

The good news is, this Supremo Perfectionist Mom saw the light before it was too late.  Turns out, you don't have to get it perfectly right from square one.  It's okay to mess up, play around, and have a silly fun time while you do it.  And surprisingly enough, when Super Spawn is having fun in practice sessions, he's learning it faster.

And I'm not lowering my expectations of him, don't get me wrong.  We go into practice with a plan.  Tonight, we're focusing on our Mississippi River rhythm, but we're not just going to stand there and repeat it 30 times, we're going to turn it into a game!  I think it's worth mentioning that since I've structured our practices this way, he comes home and asks to practice every night.  How's that for proof it works?  ;)


What does this have to do with anything?  Well, I put this into practice over the last few weeks with my new WIP's first draft.  I went into my draft with a plan (a loose outline) and a daily wordcount goal to meet.  But instead of sitting down and attempting to write The Perfect Draft, I focused on enjoying the story.  I had fun with my characters and my plot, and as I go back and read it, I'm kinda impressed.  It's actually way better than I expected. 

On a normal occasion I'd be so worried about every word I wrote, every single bit of plot being just right, that pushing the words out would be a chore.  But thanks to my silly little violinist, I've learned how to pull the reigns and step back to have a little more fun with my own "practice".   

MyNoWriMo Update

Yesterday, exactly 18 days into my MyNoWriMo, I completed the first draft of my WIP.

My face looked something like this when I typed the last line (Which I've known exactly what I wanted it to say from the beginning, and that's crazy weird for me.):

 

Then it morphed into something like this:

The WIP still needs loads of work, obviously.  The first draft came in quite slim on the word count, but mine always do.  I'm not worried.  Quite the opposite, I'm crazy excited.

Guys!  I get to revise now!!

Happy Dance!!