Fear of an Idea

Nothing about this whole writing for publication process is easy.  Sure, parts of it are fun, and it brings joy, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

This has come about because of the WIP I'm writing currently.  It's a story I'm enjoying writing, the characters have great chemistry, and it has a nice unexpected twist.  I've also got another idea I've been making notes for -- one that's making my fingers ache to get started writing it.

But when I sit down in front of that page, I clam up.  I can force out a couple hundred words, but then I sneer at it and close the program so I don't have to see it anymore.  And I know why -- fear.

Here's the thing I've realized just in the last week: I'm scared that I've written (or am writing) the wrong thing.  The wrong story at the wrong time that won't have a snowball's chance in hell of landing an agent, let alone getting in front of an editor.

I know, I know...write what you love, don't worry about trends, blah, blah, blah.  And that's easy advice to give someone, and it's sound advice.  I'm not knocking it.  But truth is, the fear is still there.  The, "Am I shooting myself in the foot before I even get started?" 

I'm not the only one out there feeling this way, I happen to know for fact.  But I think it's important for me to say it out in the open.  I'm facing my fear head on.  I'm writing the stories that I love and just hoping for the best.  There's nothing else to do, is there?

And hey, the underlying fear will push us to make our writing stronger, which is what matters the most anyway.  Right?

Things I Love About Steampunk

So, today, in celebration of Susan's Steampunk Month, I thought I'd share some of the images I've stored up for my newest WIP.  Images of some of my favorite parts of Steampunk.  It'll give you a little glimpse into what I'm planning...

Every Steampunk needs a set of brass goggles:

What kind of heroine would my MC be without a spectacular look?

My story is based around the invention of the revolver...

And the world building might just be the best part:

What do you think, guys?  Look like fun?

The Worst That Could Happen

Kat commented on my post yesterday with something I thought I'd expand on.  She said, "It is way too easy to imagine bad things happening when you have kids. I think it's a survival technique-- or at least I try to tell myself that-- if I can think a few steps ahead, and imagine what could go wrong, and prevent it, then that's a good thing. It does lead to some scary imaginings, though."

Here I was thinking I was the only one who did that!  *phew*  lol  Really though, I kinda thought I was being a little crazy...neurotic at least.  Glad I'm not alone.

When I'm in any given situation my mind automatically goes into worst-case-scenario-mode.  It dreams up the absolute most horrific thing I can imagine happening.  Terror will wash over me and bile will rise in the back of my throat.  Tears coat my eyes and my hands shake.  Then I take a deep breath and begin thinking my way out of it.  What would I do?  How would I stop it?  How could I prevent it from happening in the first place?

An example:

We were at the mall one day, Super Spawn, Sister, and I.  It was storming outside and lightening struck, leaving us without power.  All the stores closed, forcing everyone out into the central area, and nobody was allowed to leave through the main doors.  (I don't know why...that still seems so odd.)

Now, I don't like crowds.  The worst things always happen when there's a crowd of people.  Super Spawn started freaking out and launched me into Super Mom Escape Mode.  Sister perched Super Spawn on her hip and I slung the stroller over my shoulder, and we picked our way through the people and down the still escalator.

All I could think is, "Someone is about to start shooting.  Someone is going to pull a gun and what will I do?  How will I keep my sister and child safe?"

Sister will tell you...I was freaking out.  In the end, we all got out safely (We got out a side door and climbed down a big embankment.  That was fun.  Not.), and nobody got shot.  Of course.  Still, that pressing worry of what would happen next is what drove me.

I realized when Kat posted that comment that those situations influence my writing as well.  My mind is used to panic-mode setting in and dreaming up awful happenings.  Too bad for my characters, huh?  lol

So are Kat and I the only ones who do this?  Do you dream up the worst that could happen during your normal days?  And more so...do you use this technique for your stories?

A new idea, tinged with sadness...

Well, I got one wish on my Christmas list this weekend.  A shiny new idea.

Unfortunately I feel like it's tainted with tragedy.  Yesterday tragedy struck our street once again in the form of a sixteen-year-old suicide. 

It seems like one house after another on our street has fallen to tragic ends over the last year and a half.  It leaves you wondering, "What's next?  When is it my turn again?"

It immediately brought to mind Jay Asher's THIRTEEN REASONS WHY as all the neighborhood kids gathered, wondering why.  Just why.  They all want to know WHY.  But I'm kinda glad they don't.  So much guilt could be associated with the why, and I would never wish that on any of them.

But out of it blossomed a story idea.  Something new for me -- a contemporary piece.  A piece about tragedy and grief, and how one teenager handles the consuming fear of the questions, "Why?" and "What next?"

Forgive me for being a downer today, I'm in a very contemplative mood.  I didn't know the neighbors daughter well, but it's hard not to be effected by such a thing.

Hug the ones you love a little tighter tonight, and make sure they know how much they mean.