Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Road Trip Wednesday

Apparently I missed the memo that the topic was changed for this week.  So here's my compulsion to have blogs written in advance version of RTW for the week!  HA!

This week's topic:  

Who did you want to be like in high school?

I honestly don't think there was one person I wanted to be like in high school.  A lot was going on in those days, and most of it was hard to deal with.

Now that I think of it though, I most wanted to be like me.

When I was young I was terribly shy.  Scared to talk to people.  I had a huge fear of being disliked, and failure, to the point that I had panic attacks over my grades and meeting new people.  A lot of my anxiety came from home and the expectations there.  Mostly though, it was because I expected so much of myself.

I longed to be let out of my cage.  To say the things I thought without censoring them.  I was tired of always being nice.

I hid within myself, and only really started to open up my senior year some.  Thanks to drama club, and the best drama teacher a girl could ever ask for.

Sometimes even now I struggle with that desire to be me without holding back.  I'm better, but that fear still lingers.

What about you?  Who did you most want to be like in high school?  Hop over to YAHighway and see all the answers.

1 comment:

Abby Stevens said...

I always held myself to very high expectations, and it got to the point I was so stressed trying to meet my own insanely high standards that I had panic attacks. Luckily, around then I met my eventual husband, who is so incredibly easy-going and laid-back, and he really helped chill me out and let go of some of my crazy expectations.